has been a while..

..since i realised it was time to get back on track
and i have been doing well,mostly.
the worst thing was when my bfriend started telling me that for him its cruical that a girl next to him has a good body,which offended me.in a way he was saying i had gotten fat.we had a really big,hurtful discussion,as he told me i had gained some weight since we started dating etc. so i was really hurt,as i hadnt gained that much (2kilos) for hime to tell me smth like that. after some hours of my ignorance,tears and his thoughts,he told me he didnt think i was fat. just wanted me to know i can spend my money on me,not like before when it all went on us,food,rent. that he thought i was the most beautiful looking girl,and never wanted to hurt me,its just the way our discussion went that he couldnt stop himself form saying all that shit.
anyway,it was already 2 weeks since i had been eating 1000kcal max and they came from fruits,veggies,youghurt. just a week ago i was in latvia,and i weighed myself after a long time and a month of eating healthy,few and not after 6pm.55kg showed the scale,and i am 164cm tall. which is a very good weight for me..and it felt good.
however one day there i slipped,then coming back it happened again with an evening at home,bear and pizza.followed another day with 'normal food' grilled chicken and potatoes.yesterday i realized just how important is for me to feel good about what i eat,and how feeling good with my body,walking home half-naked and feeling confident is much more exciting rather then eating all the food i would want,whenever i want.
bless me,for this.i really hope i will be strong to go on. besides i have my own wedding in one month,so i got to look great.
it all just depends on me,thank you for your comments,they really motivate me to stay on track!
kisses